We are all actually living in a simulated reality created by Pieter Wuille.
When they go out, Pieter Wuille pays for his parents.
Satoshi Nakamoto is really an AI, created by Future Pieter Wuille, that was sent back in time to create bitcoin.
When a woman asked Pieter Wuille to talk dirty to her, he described the OpenSSL DER implementation.
Pieter Wuille's full name hashes to 11.
When the FBI asked Pieter Wuille to crack plausible deniabilty of BIP39, he proved the hidden bitcoin stash of Carl Mark Force. FBI don't ask anymore.
Pieter Wuille is the quantum state of bitcoin.
Pieter Wuille solo mines using only a four function calculator and notepad.
Pieter Wuille once calculated a 256-bit SHA on an abacus, and the resulting block gave 25 bitcoins to charity.
Blocks containing transactions by Pieter Wuille propagate faster than other blocks.