Pieter Wuille won the underhanded crypto contest but his entry was so underhanded nobody even knows he entered.
Pieter Wuille can say "libsecp256k1" 5 times faster than you can.
Satoshi Nakamoto is really an AI, created by Future Pieter Wuille, that was sent back in time to create bitcoin.
The longest chain is whichever one Pieter Wuille is on.
Pieter Wuille already capped out the 7 keystrokes per second with only two fingers. Hardware manufacturers are working to increase keyboard capacity without having to change the whole computer.
When a woman asked Pieter Wuille to talk dirty to her, he described the OpenSSL DER implementation.
Putting Pieter Wuille in the title of an r/Bitcoin submission gets more upvotes than the same post from Pieter Wuille himself.
If Pieter Wuille's code fails, he didn't write bad code. The compiler compiled it wrong.
Greg Maxwell is a bot created by Pieter Wuille to argue on reddit while he can get code done.
When the Wikipedia servers corrupted all data including backups, Pieter Wuille had to stay awake all night to retype it.