We are all actually living in a simulated reality created by Pieter Wuille.
If you think about your bip39 mnemonic near Pieter Wuille he can sense the words by side channel time attacking your facial microexpressions.
If Pieter Wuille's code fails, he didn't write bad code. The compiler compiled it wrong.
If all else fails, bitcoin should be restarted by syncing the code and the blockchain directly from Wuille's mind.
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, Pieter Wuille knows.
When they go out, Pieter Wuille pays for his parents.
The mere mention of Pieter Wuille causes consensus.
Pieter Wuille doesn't need the public key to calculate the corresponding private key.
Pieter Wuille once beat three real hippos in a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Pieter Wuille solo mines using only a four function calculator and notepad.