Pieter Wuille's handwritten signature is a valid DER encoding.
If all else fails, bitcoin should be restarted by syncing the code and the blockchain directly from Wuille's mind.
When they go out, Pieter Wuille pays for his parents.
Pieter Wuille use telnet to connect to IRC and speaks RFC2812 natively.
Pieter Wuille once coincidentally mindmapped the entire human genome on an 11x14 whiteboard.
Blocks containing transactions by Pieter Wuille propagate faster than other blocks.
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, Pieter Wuille knows.
The 32bit nonce of every block during Pieter Wuille's birthday is the hash of his name.
If you think about your bip39 mnemonic near Pieter Wuille he can sense the words by side channel time attacking your facial microexpressions.
If you SHA256 the IPA pronunciation of Pieter Wuille, the result is 0. Fortunately, nobody but Pieter Wuille knows what that is.